Parenthood

As we're getting closer and closer to their one year birthday I'm becoming more sentimental which is weird because I'm not a sentimental or touchy feely person what so ever! But it's struck me, the warm, happy, fuzzy memories, and right after those come the flood of other memories such as the PPD, the lack of bonding in the first few months between the twins and I, and of course the utter, unspeakable exhaustion.

Do you ever sit around and wonder why you became a parent? Tim and I do, especially this past week when our babies spent the week battling colds and ear infections. It's been a hard couple of weeks for us, and a lot of our spunk is depleted. But that's why God gave us Red Bull; hallelujah!

Anyways, off track, babies, why in the world did we decide to have babies. Well the truth is we didn't plan it, they just kind of happened. And apparently it's a phenomenon, a lot of people who have babies are like us, they just woke up one day like normal, took a test, and BAM, life changed and no more drinking for the lucky mom-to-be for at least nine more months. We've heard from a lot of people while I was pregnant and years before that, things like "oh babies are soooo great, we don't even remember what it was like to NOT have kids" to which Tim and I reply "LIARS". Ok maybe those people aren't lying, but we vividly remember what it's like to not have babies.

• First off, my house was clean. . . pretty much all the time. I would deep clean about every three days, vacuum every day, and it was glorious!

• Second, I use to sleep. Now I don't sleep, at least not as much as I use to. Case in point, Clive woke up screaming bloody murder at 5am this morning. Usually my saint of a husband gets up with them in the middle of the night while I continue to sleep, but Clive wanted ME to rock him back to sleep. Oh the joys of motherhood.

• Third, we use to have money. Not to say that we're completely out, just that we don't have a lot left over for Tim and me. It's mostly Clive and Scarlet's which is totally not fair because Tim and I are the ones going out and making it!

• Fourth, we had time. We had time to piss away. We used to go out to dinner every night for 2 hours and have spontaneous Lost and Dexter marathons. Now our time is now dictated by naps, feedings, diaper changes and whatever errands we need to do.

• Fifth, my stories have become super lame. I had lunch with my friend today and I went on and on about my babies. And it's not like they're cool stories either, it's like "Yeah we took Clive to the doctor and discovered he had a double ear infection". Why is that stuff so interesting to moms?

Now back to my main point, why did we have babies? Parenting doesn't sound like fun, and sometimes it's not. Raising babies is work, a LOT of work and I know it's the most important thing I've ever done in my entire life, but sometimes I fail at it. I'm doing it pro bono, I don't get paid, and I have literally been peed on 10+ times. The truth is I don't know why. The moment I found out I was pregnant I broke down in tears. To this day I don't know if they were tears of sadness or tears of joy I just knew that in that instant, the moment I saw that plus sign, my life had changed forever. I was having a baby (back then I just thought it was one, boy was I in for a shock!).

We said yes to life. And by saying yes to life, we ended up saying yes to two lives. We now have two beautiful babies that have been the biggest blessing we could have asked for. It's not to say that my life is perfect. It's not perfect, in fact having children has made my house messy (I'm a neat freak), forced my husband and I to make tough decisions together and sometimes leads to fights and of course hiding things from Tim, it's changed my relationships with friends, and it has been the most difficult year to date.

Having babies has certainly made my life less perfect, but in a way it's a different kind of Paradise we live in. It's a paradise filled with love, laughter, less money, more work, less time, and less sleep. It's an experience that you have to live to understand. I don't know how to describe it, and as I reread this parenthood sounds pretty horrible, but it's not. It's something I wasn't ready for, something I'm still not sure how to navigate through, but I'm slowly learning to embrace it and it's the best thing in my life. 

This video says it all. I still wouldn't change it for the world. 

11 months

We've reached 11 months! All I can say is that I'm in awe. Not completely of them, but of us. The four of us have survived each other 11 whole months. That's a big accomplishment in my book.

Reaching 11 months means that we have one month to go until their first birthday party which I've been busy planning which I've been procrastinating planning in full force. It's not because I don't want them to have a great party, it's because selfishly I don't want my babies to grow up. I never thought I would get to the point where I'm ready for them to stop growing and be my babies forever. People warned me it would happen, I thought they were insane, but they were right. This whole past year I've been rushing to get to the "good part" now that I'm standing here looking back I see that the past 11 months have been the "good part" and I didn't appreciate and cherish it like a should have (I blame the PPD and sleep deprivation). So now here I stand, looking back and wondering where the time has gone, where my small babies have gone and trying to figure out a way to slow down time. Since I can't find a way (yes I tried to Google it, still no answer) I'm going to do my best to cherish my precious time with my babies.

Now I must say I LOVE having twins. There have been many times where Tim and I are trying desperately not to lose our sanity and we look at each other and say "at least they weren't triplets" and we're usually able to smile after that. One huge plus to having twins is that they usually play together pretty well.

This video is kind of long, but watch the first minute of it and you'll get the gist. Watch the whole thing though and you're guaranteed to smile! Ok maybe that's just Tim and I... 

Yesterday, on the morning of their 11 month birthday Clive and Scarlet decided to celebrate by breaking a piece of our bake ware. And I SWEAR I heard Clive say "mazel tov" after he did it! Totally possible considering I am half Jewish. 

Super adorableness after bath time. That's the only reason for this picture. It's the only reason I need. 

To date Scarlet has been taking more steps than Clive. She will take about 4 steps at a time before she falls. She started before Christmas and has since been perfecting it. Clive on the other hand has no desire to walk. He can, but he prefers crawling. He's already a lazy man. 

Speaking of Clive... We call this video "Clive v. the Tub of Butter". As I joke I taught Clive that the empty butter tub goes on top of your head, like a hat. He thinks it's the greatest thing in the world, and he'll literally sit there putting it on and taking it off and laughing the whole time. This particular time, he hated everything and decided to throw a fit about nothing. Enjoy. 

Another thing about having twins is they get into twice the trouble in half the time

11 months, wow. I'm so blessed to have these two mischievous, loving, messing, crazy babies to call mine. 

A little bit of everything

Disclaimer* I wrote this in under 45 min. both babies are sleeping. It's a miracle so I'm rushing. If this doesn't make sense, well then now you know why.




So I know that I probably should be recapping 2011, posting on what resolutions I'm hoping to accomplish this year, but I'm behind on blogging so I'm going to do Christmas and a little bit of everything. Here goes! 


This was our babies first Christmas, and it was AMAZING. Last year I was miserable, fat, and a huge downer because I was so uncomfortable. It was one of the worst Christmases for me just because I was pregnant. This year however I decided that no matter what it would be the best Christmas of my life, and it was. First off, it snowed. Now for my readers who have no idea where in the heck Midland TX is, it's simply in the desert. We've been through the worst drought this past summer in years, and we hardly EVER get snow so this is big news for us.  I don't know how much we got because even though I love snow, I hate to go out in it. I don't have pictures because it annoys me that bad. I didn't step outside, so just visualize snow on a house. 

Visualize here

Anyways getting back to Christmas. My husband did good this year, and by that I mean all my presents were homemade with love. For those who don't know my Robot well, he's crazy smart. Like so smart it makes me sinfully mad at times. Anything he wants to try he'll just try and be amazing at it. It's annoying. My point is he's talented at everything, including making me things. This year he went onto my Pintrest boards and used those ideas to make my presents. It was the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received! 

Now please keep in mind my pictures don't look as good as the ones pinned but I'm too lazy to take pictures on Tim's nice camera. 

My picture frames he made me for our bedroom that we're redoing

This is a really bad picture of it, but it's a sign with a Bible verse on it, and an old framed painting that I'm turning into a tray. Now that I'm looking at these I probably should get up and take a new picture, but the babies are totally going to wake up soon so use your imagination again here. 

And they were wrapped up in this bad boy! 

And I have a dresser coming up too, but he couldn't sneak it away without me know because my clothes are in it and I might notice it. So yeah... it was awesome. 

Now to the babies and Tim. They love Christmas (I mean I'm assuming Clive and Scarlet do, they looked happy at least) so it was great for them. Clive and Scarlet had no idea what was going on, why everyone was staring at them, and why they got to chew on paper, but they were all like best Christmas ever Mom. Oh and they got new toys which they didn't notice for at least a day because they were busy with the paper and boxes. Typical. 

She kept trying to put the bow on her head

They loved playing with the lights

Tim took the rest of these as you can probably tell

And that was our Christmas. It was relaxed, low key, and special. I loved every moment of it, and will forever cherish the memories we made. 

Now for New Years! We're hanging out with family tonight and heading home early. It's the first time since I was 18 that we're not going to any big parties or hosting one. It's weird, but it's also a sign of how our lives have drastically changed in the past year. It's been the craziest, most frustrating, loving, amazing year. We've grown so much this past year in our marriage and in ourselves. I could go on and on about how our lives differ and my hopes and dreams for 2012, but I hear Clive starting to wake. I will say this, if 2012 half as good as 2011 was we will still be blessed beyond measure. 

Have a safe and happy new year!  

10 months

First and foremost, I've been a horrible blogger. I wish I could say "Oh I'm just sooo popular, everyone is begging to hangout with me, I just haven't found the time". But honestly, my life is really boring right now so I just haven't written lately. That's the truth. But it's better to fake it then to not do it all all (that's what she said, pun intended). Moving on...

10 months, holy crap ya'll we hit double digits and not one CPS report to date. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, we still have 17.16 more years. * Side note- I didn't do the math on that, my robot did. Pays to marry a robot*

 Umm let's see, they're getting cuter. I mean I know that's what a lot of people say, but it's true. 

Scarlet's new thing is to play peek-a-boo with us. Not because she thinks it's fun, but she loves our reaction. We're easily amused. 

They do cooler things, like stand on their own, actually just Clive is doing it. Scarlet just perfected pulling up by herself. It turns out though she's been doing this at daycare for a couple of weeks, but she refused to do it at home. Mostly because she knows I'll pull her up whenever she asks screams at me. Clive on the other hand just stands on his own at random times. Tim's trying to teach him to walk, but I'm not ready for it because he's my baby (literally he was baby B). Plus that means he'll be able to run soon, and that sounds like a nightmare.

Here's a video of Clive standing up for the first time. We were pretty impressed, it's ok if you're not as impressed as we were. 

They're getting into more and more things, and it's frankly getting on my nerves. I know a lot of people tell me "oh just get use to it" to which I would love to reply something that I cannot type right now because I'm working on cussing less... but you get my point. 

Why yes those are wires in the background. Thank you for noticing! 

It's getting more and more fun to do embarrassing things with them. For example:

I can't wait till they go on their first date and I bust out this picture and say "moo moo buckaroo". Best future day EVER.

And that's about it. It's been 10 months, I'm kicking ass at this whole mothering thing. Take notes. 

PS- I just have to say to the person who found my blog by Googling "my licence" + "handcuffed me" I hope everything works out. And yes, that speaks to the nature of my blog and I couldn't be more proud. 

Happy Thanksgiving ya'll

As is customary with Thanksgiving tradition, here's my "Thankful" list:

I'm thankful for my little babies. They have brought so much joy and laughter to my life, and I never thought a year ago I'd be this happy. But I could do without all the spit up and dirty diapers... hint, hint...


I'm thankful for my Robot Husband! He's a hardworking man who put up with pissed off me every morning. Truthfully I don't even want to have to deal me in the mornings, but he continues to do it. Now that's a loyal robot husband. Plus he does stupid things like filling up the kitchen sink with dry ice and laughing uncontrollably at it. Which of course causes me to laugh uncontrollably at the fact that he's laughing so hard he might pee himself. Love that robot!


I'm thankful for grandparents and ALL extended family! One thing I love about the holidays is getting to see out of town relatives and hang out. Plus they're really eagard to hold your kids while you eat and it gives you time to stuff your face. They're the true heros of Thanksgiving.

I'm thankful for Steve Jobs (RIP) for helping to create the Iphone which all of my pictures are taken on, and for writing a memoir that my husband loves to read therefore giving me time to catch up on Glee. I'm also thankful for Skyrim for allowing me to watch Vampire Diaries.

I'm thankful for my job. It's awesome. Please know it's completely normal to be jealous of it.

I'm thankful for my BFFF's for being ridiculously funny (but not as funny as me) and saying honest things like "I'm only friends with other pretty people" . Plus they search the Internet for the stupidest things to send me, thus saving me time and braincells.

And last but not least, I'm thankful for every single person who has ever read my blog! I love being able to share my experiences in life with such amazing people from all over the world, many that I've never met. I'm thankful for you all, and hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving!

Now please enjoy these out of order pictures from out thanksgiving day. They would be in order if I would just get up and walk to the computer, but Cops is on right now and I'm lazy. Plus this lady getting arrested is a special kind of crazy, it's awesome!

This was the dry ice I was talking about...

9 Months

Guess what I'm doing right now? Typing on a computer! *cheers*

My husband heard my desperate outcry for a new computer when he found me screaming at the Ipad last time I blogged. Actually that's not entirely true, the new Elder Scrolls game came out and he needed a computer to play it. I just like to pretend I'm special! But whatever right! I'm back, and better than ever still breathing. So yeah...

9 months! Holy cow we've been keeping these kids alive for 9 whole months. Go us! What can I possibly say about them being nine months? Well for starters, THIS IS THE BEST AGE EVER! And I actually mean that. To be honest everything before this was tedious, and draining. I know there are some mothers and fathers out there who love the little baby stage, but we're not really those people. I do miss the fact that when I used to leave them in a spot and turn around they were still in that spot, but I can deal with them wondering around the house. So here are some things they started doing that has made my life so much easier/better:

They hold their own bottles. 

Ok they've been doing this for a while, but I can't tell you how much easier this makes my life. Feeding two at once used to be a challenge, but now it's so much easier.

They're BOTH crawling!

 Clive has been crawling for over a month now, but Scarlet wasn't mostly because she knew I would carry her wherever she wanted to go. But I guess she got tired of Clive stealing her toys and crawling just out of her reach, so she decided to crawl. It literally took her less than a week to be awesome at it. She was totally holding out on us.

I left them in the living room for two seconds and came back to find them both in the kitchen

The playroom is set up and fully functional.

So I know they didn't really do this, but we did and I'm so happy we've got it completed! Now they play in there, their toys don't leave, and we can contain the mess and the noise into one room.

They entertain themselves and each other.

Speaking of the playroom, when they get bored of hanging out with us in the living room now they can just crawl over to their playroom and start playing. It's pretty nice, but it makes us feel like losers because sometimes we want to hang out with them and they're all like "um whatever, you're lame Mom & Dad. I'm gonna go play with my hippo." Also, they have this fascination with our patio door. Sometimes they'll crawl over to it and just stare out the window for a good 5-10 minutes and "talk". It's weird, but whatever, it makes them happy.

Clive staring out the window, just staring... 

Last, but not least, they look super adorable in costumes! Ok that's not really a part of being 9 months, but I had to incorporate Halloween in here somehow so stop judging me!

PS- We'll be starting to plan their first birthday in less than 3 months, and being the procrastinating mother that I am I totally won't have a theme picked out in time. If you can think of a cute theme post it in the comments and if it's good then we'll use it! You're welcome.

Playing Catch Up

I know I've been MIA for a while, but I have a good reason... My computer stopped working literally the day I stopped working! So if I want to blog I have to chicken peck on our iPad, like I'm doing now. It's annoying and my soul is slowly dying because of it.

But the point is I'm still here, still kicking butt and taking names! Anyways I'm just going to throw together about a months worth of stuff into one post, so if this post seems kind of messy, crazy, and erratic well then get over it because that's my life! (And I'm using this app for the iPad that's suppose to make blogging easier, but it's not and my pictures are all out of order!)

Here goes!

We're finally able to take them to restaurants and have a good time. I will add though that coasters are not ok for kids to chew on. Clive took a chunk off of his and almost ate it... Lesson learned.

Scarlet had her first real haircut and loved every second of it. She is my daughter!

What have I been up to? Just showing Martha Stewart up, that's what! I put together a shelf (which turned out to be a shoe rack, I should have read the box better), painted a door with chalkboard paint, and then made letters for the kids playroom.

What's Tim been up to? My robot husband has been nerding it up. I'm hoping he'll pick up a few tips and make us billionaires because I have amazing pranks I want to play! But that's for another day.

Recently we took a trip to Ruidoso, just the four of us... while Clive was cutting four teeth at once. That made for an interesting weekend. But overall it was a great trip. Basically it was just nice to leave town for a couple of days and go somewhere that got below 80 degrees in October.Plus Scarlet got to wear her boots, that alone was worth the trip. In the end we bought the tacky, clichè, overpriced, tourist teeshirts as a souvenier from the trip. Worth every penny.

And this is something I fully expect my kids to rant about to their therapist when they get older. We literally couldn't resist.


That's been my life in a nutshell, and frankly I'm losing my patience trying to "type" on this iPad so I'll skip ahead. I'm starting my dream job on Monday. Before I left work I was wanting this job and now I have it. I'll be traveling around to area schools and teaching Sexual Integrity to students. I start Monday and I'm excited, nervous, and beyond grateful! I don't know what else to say about it, life is good!

Public Service Announcements: Rules you think people should know but they don’t and your all like “wow your momma failed you”

I have come to the realization that some people do not know etiquette/ proper behavior when it comes to certain situations. Thankfully for everyone I’m around.

• After swimming in a lake (especially one that contains gasoline and fish poop) please wash your hair. Dry shampoo is not an acceptable substitute.
• Please do not talk about the menstrual cycle of your dog at the dinner table.
• The birth story of you new litter of kittens and how you witnessed the “miracle of their birth” should also not be discussed at dinner.
• When hosting a dinner party for several friends do NOT ask your guests who are coming to bring the main dish while you, the host, provide the drinks.
• The word “Shortly” implies two hours, not two weeks.
• Please don’t go around and tell people your babies poop smells like Doritos. It ruins them for the rest of us.
• Do not spoil the ending of a television show that people are in the middle of watching. That goes for movies too.
• When you just meet someone don’t let one of the first things that comes out of your mouth be “I have this new credit card and it has a ten thousand dollar limit. How big is your limit?”
• Do not go to a strangers house and tell them “I would love to help you decorate. Oh you don’t have a big budget? Well I have a credit card.” Also, don’t tell that same person that you would prefer their television mounted above their fireplace.

 I’m sure I could write a whole lot more, but I’ll end up being irritated at the world. Instead I’m going to leave you with an adorable picture that makes me smile.

My beautiful  baby girl 

Clive insisted on having his cousin Kaleb hold him and he gave him a kiss. So sweet! 

PS- Do you have anything you wish people would know? Post them in the comments!

7 months

My sweet babies are 7 months today. It’s been a wild ride, and I honestly am surprised I’ve made it this long seeing as their sole mission in life is to destroy me! We have our good and bad days and then we have our Great days. They’re growing up so fast and every milestone is a bitter sweet moment, because I’m excited for them to grow up and discover, but I’m selfishly not ready for them to stop being my babies. Here are a few milestones we’ve hit so far (it’s nothing too exciting for anyone but Tim and I and being first time parents we’re beyond proud. You, not being their parent, will probably be bored.).

 We painted Scarlet's toenails for the first time

 I'm increasingly breaking up more fights. It's mainly Clive attacking Scarlet though. I think he's jealous because she has hair. 

 Scarlet enjoying her first taste of a Starbucks scone. 

 She pooped shortly after this. I don't know why I included it, it's just a cute picture. 

 We lowered Clive's crib last night and it's like a little jail cell that he loves.

 Thug Clive

 Happy Thug Clive

 They were playing together one morning and it was cute, until he pounced on her too hard and she started screaming bloody murder. 

 We put Scarlet in a shopping cart for the first time and she loved it. Either that or she loved Target almost as much as I do. 

Clive screaming a victory scream because he pulled up on his crib 

 Thug Scarlet. She will shank you. 

They went for a jog with daddy for the first time and loved it. 

Spa Day

I had a spa day Saturday because I deserve one more than anyone else in the world. Did I mention I had twins??? I laugh at your one baby, bahaha! Ok maybe not, but I really needed a massage. Before the twins were born and while I was pregnant I was constantly getting massages, facials, pedicures, etc… and now that they’re here this has greatly diminished into NEVER getting one (confession: I still get a pedicure every other week, so I guess that’s not entirely true). So, Saturday I decided to get a salt scrub, mud wrap, and hot stone massage. A little bit about me really quick: I don’t relax, period. By that I mean I don’t know how. I’m not a person who meditates or does yoga or has quiet time. My mind literally never quits running and I've never been able to make it calm down. So what does that mean for you??? Why that means I analyzed everything about my spa day and you get to read my list. Lucky you!

• 1.      The Salt scrub doesn't smell salty. It smells minty, naming fail.
• 2.      Those mats with the big rocks on them don’t always have the rocks glued down,caution while stepping into the shower!
• 3.      Why don’t they glue those stones down??? And who came up with that??? It freakin hurts!
• 4.      Where can I get one of those spa robes? It feels like the world’s softest baby lamb was slaughtered just for me :)
• 5.      I’m probably way too comfortable with my body. No one should be this comfortable after having twins. No one.
• 6.      Mud wraps make me feel weird, like I’m a burrito wrapped in foil waiting to be eaten by a giant cannibal.
• 7.      I wonder what the mud tastes like, it smells like chocolate after all.
• 8.      The mud doesn't taste good.  Don’t try it.
• 9.      It’s not helpful to think about the Psycho stabbing scene when you’re sitting in a steam shower all by yourself and you can’t see more than a foot in front of you.
• 10.   I want a steam shower in my house, even though I might be stabbed in it. That thing is so awesome, it’s worth a stabbing.

 My spa day was really relaxing and afterwords I felt ready to take on the world! But after an hour of being home I was ready for another spa day. 

Scarlet and Clive both wanted to play with the phone part and Clive kept hitting Scarlet's hand thinking it was part of the game and caused her to throw a fit. 

Clive somehow found his way under my TV stand and was playing with his toy

Tim won the award this weekend for worst moment. His shirt says it all...