Ok world watch out, this is my first ever blog entry! Why am I starting a blog? Because I’m awesome and I think more people need to have access to me. Here’s a quick summary of me and my life:
I’m 24 and female.
I’m a mom of twins. No I didn’t use fertility drugs, no twins don’t run in the family, no we weren’t trying, yes I got huge.
I have an awesome husband named Tim, who I’m convinced is secretly a kick ass robot.
I’m not a pet person, so don’t expect any cute puppy stories or funny cat adventures.
I think pregnancy sucks, and anyone who says otherwise is full of it.
My kids are cute but slightly psycho.
I’m turning into my mom and that frightens me.
I have a bunch of cool friends, but none are cooler than me.
I like the word titillated (don’t judge me!).
My biggest fear is a zombie apocalypse.
I own a topless painting.
My theme song is World Greatest by R. Kelly. Go listen to it now.
My kids are finally starting to be funny which is good because I was getting worried they’d be boring.
Sexting freaks me out.
I’m convinced my house is haunted.
When I’m mad at Tim I hide stuff from him, car keys, sunglasses, slippers, remote control, shoes, etc…
I’m a former Catholic Jew, turned Non-Denominational Christian
My goal is for someone to turn my life into a Lifetime movie, so eventually I’ll need a stalker or psycho babysitter. I’m now taking applications.
I’m a “That’s what she said” master.
So that’s my life in a nutshell, you’re welcome.