Saturday, December 31, 2011

A little bit of everything

Disclaimer* I wrote this in under 45 min. both babies are sleeping. It's a miracle so I'm rushing. If this doesn't make sense, well then now you know why.




So I know that I probably should be recapping 2011, posting on what resolutions I'm hoping to accomplish this year, but I'm behind on blogging so I'm going to do Christmas and a little bit of everything. Here goes! 


This was our babies first Christmas, and it was AMAZING. Last year I was miserable, fat, and a huge downer because I was so uncomfortable. It was one of the worst Christmases for me just because I was pregnant. This year however I decided that no matter what it would be the best Christmas of my life, and it was. First off, it snowed. Now for my readers who have no idea where in the heck Midland TX is, it's simply in the desert. We've been through the worst drought this past summer in years, and we hardly EVER get snow so this is big news for us.  I don't know how much we got because even though I love snow, I hate to go out in it. I don't have pictures because it annoys me that bad. I didn't step outside, so just visualize snow on a house. 


Visualize here

Anyways getting back to Christmas. My husband did good this year, and by that I mean all my presents were homemade with love. For those who don't know my Robot well, he's crazy smart. Like so smart it makes me sinfully mad at times. Anything he wants to try he'll just try and be amazing at it. It's annoying. My point is he's talented at everything, including making me things. This year he went onto my Pintrest boards and used those ideas to make my presents. It was the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received! 
Now please keep in mind my pictures don't look as good as the ones pinned but I'm too lazy to take pictures on Tim's nice camera. 

My picture frames he made me for our bedroom that we're redoing

This is a really bad picture of it, but it's a sign with a Bible verse on it, and an old framed painting that I'm turning into a tray. Now that I'm looking at these I probably should get up and take a new picture, but the babies are totally going to wake up soon so use your imagination again here. 

And they were wrapped up in this bad boy! 

And I have a dresser coming up too, but he couldn't sneak it away without me know because my clothes are in it and I might notice it. So yeah... it was awesome. 

Now to the babies and Tim. They love Christmas (I mean I'm assuming Clive and Scarlet do, they looked happy at least) so it was great for them. Clive and Scarlet had no idea what was going on, why everyone was staring at them, and why they got to chew on paper, but they were all like best Christmas ever Mom. Oh and they got new toys which they didn't notice for at least a day because they were busy with the paper and boxes. Typical. 


She kept trying to put the bow on her head

They loved playing with the lights




Tim took the rest of these as you can probably tell

And that was our Christmas. It was relaxed, low key, and special. I loved every moment of it, and will forever cherish the memories we made. 

Now for New Years! We're hanging out with family tonight and heading home early. It's the first time since I was 18 that we're not going to any big parties or hosting one. It's weird, but it's also a sign of how our lives have drastically changed in the past year. It's been the craziest, most frustrating, loving, amazing year. We've grown so much this past year in our marriage and in ourselves. I could go on and on about how our lives differ and my hopes and dreams for 2012, but I hear Clive starting to wake. I will say this, if 2012 half as good as 2011 was we will still be blessed beyond measure. 

Have a safe and happy new year!  








Friday, December 23, 2011

What in the world?!

So as we all know and are constantly reminded, it's Christmas time which means shopping for that perfect gift for that special someone. But sometimes you wonder who the hell would buy these things.

Take the Unicorn Pony Cycle for example. I mean, come on. Who buys this for their children? I mean unless they don't mind their kids being the weird kids on the block riding a unicorn instead of a normal bike. Just pin a kick me sign on the poor kids back already! 

And this, seriously. It's suppose to be a pillow, and I would NEVER want either of my kids sleeping on a monster who got it's ass kicked. It's scary and sad at the same time.  

Ok I admit I didn't find this for sale, it was in someones office but I have to post it because I'm convinced it stared straight into my soul. 

Santa had too many cookies and he's also way too over priced for just being a weebly wobble Santa.

Army of creepy doll candle holders anyone? Great for making guests feel uncomfortable. 

This guy. This guy was not for sale, he was actually hanging in a restaurant I was having breakfast at. He's creepy, he's like a possessed elf. Plus I know he was totally judging me for eating that super unhealthy breakfast bagel. He made me feel like a fatty and therefore he's making the list. Jerk. 

Last but not least there's this gem, Santa holding baby Jesus. I totally missed that part in the Christmas story, but it must be true because my friend Anna (who also found that statue) bought me this

Santa was there for the birth of Jesus. We need to update the Bible asap! 

I hope you guys have a wonderful Christmas this year! And if anyone buys any of these please contact me asap, I need to get into your mind for medical reasons. 



Monday, December 19, 2011

That Awkward Moment When...



Disclaimer: Yes these have all happened to me. I hope you will feel better about your life. You're welcome . 

That awkward moment when...

  • You tell a very conservative Christian friend who can potentially recommend you for a job "I'm the funniest f'ing person you will ever meet"

  • You think a door is automatic so you stand there in front of it, waving your arms like an idiot only to have a kind old man pass you and open the door for you. And as you walk away you know he's wondering what you've been smoking that day. 

  • Your husband catches you blasting music in the house, after you've repeatedly told him not too. 

  • Someone shows up at your house unexpectedly and your bra from yesterday is hanging over the kitchen chair.

  • Someone you've been expecting shows up and your bra from yesterday is hanging over the kitchen chair. 

  • Your child spits up on someones brand new something. 

  • Your phone rings in church, and it's not on silent.

  • You tell a joke, and no one laughs. 

  • Someone asks your opinion concerning the topic they've been talking about but you weren't listening and have no clue what to say. *Can also apply this too when you don't understand the subject that was being discussed. 

  • Your baby falls off a chair at your husbands company Christmas party                                 *Side note- she fell onto very soft grass thankfully. Still embarrassing, totally not winning mother of the year now. 


  • You send an email about something personal and super inappropriate to the wrong coworker. 


  • A Preacher says during a wedding  "Marriage is hard. It's always going to be hard. You have to get use to it. Neither one of you has experienced anything as hard as this until now" and you immediately think "that's what she said" and you begin to quietly laugh uncontrollably and have to pretend like your crying because people around you are starting to stare.      *This has also happened during group prayers. I'm doomed. 




Monday, December 12, 2011

Give 1 Save 1

Hey friends!

As we all know it's the holiday season and that means not only eating crazy amounts of food, drinking a TON of spiked eggnog, and receiving lots of special gifts, it's also a time to give back. And what better way to give back than to help a family on their adoption journey!

My dear friends Phillip and Jenna Knight embarked on their adoption journey in May 2010 (read all about their story here) and now they are on the last leg of bringing their sweet daughter Emerson Meti Knight home. They are the featured family this week on Give1Save1, a blog that helps adoptive families bring home their much anticipated and loved children.

Meet Emerson Knight. OMG don't you just want to squeeze her???

So where do you come in? I'm asking you to donate a dollar. That's right 1 dollar (I know we're breaking the bank right?) to this terrific family who is anxiously waiting for the call to pick up their daughter from Ethiopia. If everyone donates just one dollar we can help this family on the last part of their adoption journey, and more importantly, help change all of their lives forever.

Click Here to donate your dollar to the Knight family

Try and watch this video without shedding a tear. Oh you weren't able to? It's because it's not possible!!!! 

Ps- I ask that you keep the Knight family in your thoughts and prayers. Prayer is power, and worth so much more than money.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

10 months

First and foremost, I've been a horrible blogger. I wish I could say "Oh I'm just sooo popular, everyone is begging to hangout with me, I just haven't found the time". But honestly, my life is really boring right now so I just haven't written lately. That's the truth. But it's better to fake it then to not do it all all (that's what she said, pun intended). Moving on...

10 months, holy crap ya'll we hit double digits and not one CPS report to date. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, we still have 17.16 more years. * Side note- I didn't do the math on that, my robot did. Pays to marry a robot*

 Umm let's see, they're getting cuter. I mean I know that's what a lot of people say, but it's true. 
Scarlet's new thing is to play peek-a-boo with us. Not because she thinks it's fun, but she loves our reaction. We're easily amused. 


They do cooler things, like stand on their own, actually just Clive is doing it. Scarlet just perfected pulling up by herself. It turns out though she's been doing this at daycare for a couple of weeks, but she refused to do it at home. Mostly because she knows I'll pull her up whenever she asks screams at me. Clive on the other hand just stands on his own at random times. Tim's trying to teach him to walk, but I'm not ready for it because he's my baby (literally he was baby B). Plus that means he'll be able to run soon, and that sounds like a nightmare.

Here's a video of Clive standing up for the first time. We were pretty impressed, it's ok if you're not as impressed as we were. 

They're getting into more and more things, and it's frankly getting on my nerves. I know a lot of people tell me "oh just get use to it" to which I would love to reply something that I cannot type right now because I'm working on cussing less... but you get my point. 
Why yes those are wires in the background. Thank you for noticing! 


It's getting more and more fun to do embarrassing things with them. For example:
I can't wait till they go on their first date and I bust out this picture and say "moo moo buckaroo". Best future day EVER.


And that's about it. It's been 10 months, I'm kicking ass at this whole mothering thing. Take notes. 


PS- I just have to say to the person who found my blog by Googling "my licence" + "handcuffed me" I hope everything works out. And yes, that speaks to the nature of my blog and I couldn't be more proud. 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving ya'll

As is customary with Thanksgiving tradition, here's my "Thankful" list:

I'm thankful for my little babies. They have brought so much joy and laughter to my life, and I never thought a year ago I'd be this happy. But I could do without all the spit up and dirty diapers... hint, hint...


I'm thankful for my Robot Husband! He's a hardworking man who put up with pissed off me every morning. Truthfully I don't even want to have to deal me in the mornings, but he continues to do it. Now that's a loyal robot husband. Plus he does stupid things like filling up the kitchen sink with dry ice and laughing uncontrollably at it. Which of course causes me to laugh uncontrollably at the fact that he's laughing so hard he might pee himself. Love that robot!


I'm thankful for grandparents and ALL extended family! One thing I love about the holidays is getting to see out of town relatives and hang out. Plus they're really eagard to hold your kids while you eat and it gives you time to stuff your face. They're the true heros of Thanksgiving.

I'm thankful for Steve Jobs (RIP) for helping to create the Iphone which all of my pictures are taken on, and for writing a memoir that my husband loves to read therefore giving me time to catch up on Glee. I'm also thankful for Skyrim for allowing me to watch Vampire Diaries.

I'm thankful for my job. It's awesome. Please know it's completely normal to be jealous of it.

I'm thankful for my BFFF's for being ridiculously funny (but not as funny as me) and saying honest things like "I'm only friends with other pretty people" . Plus they search the Internet for the stupidest things to send me, thus saving me time and braincells.

And last but not least, I'm thankful for every single person who has ever read my blog! I love being able to share my experiences in life with such amazing people from all over the world, many that I've never met. I'm thankful for you all, and hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving!

Now please enjoy these out of order pictures from out thanksgiving day. They would be in order if I would just get up and walk to the computer, but Cops is on right now and I'm lazy. Plus this lady getting arrested is a special kind of crazy, it's awesome!

This was the dry ice I was talking about...

Friday, November 18, 2011

I'm totally That Person

*Disclaimer* This blog was written by a person suffering from sleep deprivation and may or may not make sense. You have been warned.

Ok so don't judge me, even though I know you totally will, but last night I went to the midnight premiere of Twilight's Breaking Dawn Part 1. 

Yes, that's right, I'm that crazy person who, when tickets came out, made sure to get the 12:01 showing on the very day they were available for sell... back in September! We ordered our special Twilight tee shirts (we get one every year) and wear them while we sit in a theater packed with equally and sometimes more insane girls anxiously waiting for the midnight premiere. But the best part about the whole thing is I'm not alone! AND I'm not the craziest one!!!! 

 Some of those girls scare me with how much they're invested in this. They proudly bring their Edward or Jacob covered bedspread to wrap themselves up in, dress up as characters in the movie, and sometimes even bring a life size cardboard cut out of the characters along with them! It's beyond insane. 

This was my 3rd year to go and as usual the crowd never ceases to amaze me. We arrived around 4pm and we weren't even the first ones in line, not even close.

Also, I may or may not have gotten into an argument with a freshman girl...
As we were sitting in line we couldn't help but hear a conversation that went like this "OMG it would be soooooo cool if in the last movie she chose Jacob". 

 So I turned to her and said "Are you serious, Edward’s the baby daddy, why would she leave him? Plus have you even read the book? It's based off of the book" (Idiot)

 And then she said "Jacob could be the father" 

And then I said "To a baby he's in love with??!! Seriously??!!" 

Seriously.

One of my favorite parts of all is when we're all sitting in the theater, waiting for the movie to begin and the girls in there start chanting "Team Jacob" and another half starts chanting "Team Edward" and it just goes on and on until all of our ears are numb and their voices finally give out. Why was this my favorite part? Because we were finally in the freaking theater after HOURS of waiting on the cold ground, which I think they make us do just so we can be tortured and prove ourselves to truly be hardcore. I mean as hardcore as a Twilight fan can get. Plus it meant we were closer to seeing the movie, Which by the way was FANTASTIC disappointing.

I laughed in parts of the scenes that were meant to be serious (the robot voiced wolves scene) because they way they chose to shoot them was ridiculous! And *Spoiler Alert* the scenes where the venom is running through her body was fine the first time, but by the third time I wanted to shout "OMG we get it, she's turning into a vampire and the venom is inside her!!!!".

I've defended the movies for years now, but this one is nearly indefensible. The majority of the movie was good, but the bad parts made it so awful that I'm having trouble seeing past them. The poor acting I can get past, but for a talented director to take this movie that CAN afford to be not amazing and make it a piece of crap is truly amazing to me.   After sharing my opinion with several people, most have asked me if I will go to the midnight showing next year, and my answer is yes. I don't have too much hope for part 2, because it was shot by the same director, but for my friends and I it's more about the experience. This next year will mark our 4Th year going to the midnight shows together, and each year we build fun memories. We make new friends as we wait in line, and get to spend hours together talking and laughing. It's a great experience, and although I'm not happy with the overall movie I'm excited for the next one, the last one, so we can do it one final time. 

 So yeah, that was my night. It's now Friday and I'm exhausted because I got like 4 hours of sleep, and for some reason my twins just don't seem to care. Rude much? But they're still cute so I guess it's ok. Now please enjoy some nerdy pictures from last night, but try not to be enraged with envy, for your sake not mine.
Waiting for the movie to start and why YES that is an Insta-Bench. It's seats up to six people and we sat proudly on it. Thanks Britt!
Us upstairs with the Breaking Dawn poster. In our matching shirts.We are full of Awesome.

Whitney and I in our matching tee-shirts

Sitting on the Insta Bench with a new friend we made while waiting in line

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

9 Months

Guess what I'm doing right now? Typing on a computer! *cheers*
My husband heard my desperate outcry for a new computer when he found me screaming at the Ipad last time I blogged. Actually that's not entirely true, the new Elder Scrolls game came out and he needed a computer to play it. I just like to pretend I'm special! But whatever right! I'm back, and better than ever still breathing. So yeah...

9 months! Holy cow we've been keeping these kids alive for 9 whole months. Go us! What can I possibly say about them being nine months? Well for starters, THIS IS THE BEST AGE EVER! And I actually mean that. To be honest everything before this was tedious, and draining. I know there are some mothers and fathers out there who love the little baby stage, but we're not really those people. I do miss the fact that when I used to leave them in a spot and turn around they were still in that spot, but I can deal with them wondering around the house. So here are some things they started doing that has made my life so much easier/better:


They hold their own bottles. 
Ok they've been doing this for a while, but I can't tell you how much easier this makes my life. Feeding two at once used to be a challenge, but now it's so much easier.


They're BOTH crawling!
 Clive has been crawling for over a month now, but Scarlet wasn't mostly because she knew I would carry her wherever she wanted to go. But I guess she got tired of Clive stealing her toys and crawling just out of her reach, so she decided to crawl. It literally took her less than a week to be awesome at it. She was totally holding out on us.
I left them in the living room for two seconds and came back to find them both in the kitchen

The playroom is set up and fully functional.
So I know they didn't really do this, but we did and I'm so happy we've got it completed! Now they play in there, their toys don't leave, and we can contain the mess and the noise into one room.


They entertain themselves and each other.
Speaking of the playroom, when they get bored of hanging out with us in the living room now they can just crawl over to their playroom and start playing. It's pretty nice, but it makes us feel like losers because sometimes we want to hang out with them and they're all like "um whatever, you're lame Mom & Dad. I'm gonna go play with my hippo." Also, they have this fascination with our patio door. Sometimes they'll crawl over to it and just stare out the window for a good 5-10 minutes and "talk". It's weird, but whatever, it makes them happy.
Clive staring out the window, just staring... 

Last, but not least, they look super adorable in costumes! Ok that's not really a part of being 9 months, but I had to incorporate Halloween in here somehow so stop judging me!



PS- We'll be starting to plan their first birthday in less than 3 months, and being the procrastinating mother that I am I totally won't have a theme picked out in time. If you can think of a cute theme post it in the comments and if it's good then we'll use it! You're welcome.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Playing Catch Up

I know I've been MIA for a while, but I have a good reason... My computer stopped working literally the day I stopped working! So if I want to blog I have to chicken peck on our iPad, like I'm doing now. It's annoying and my soul is slowly dying because of it.

But the point is I'm still here, still kicking butt and taking names! Anyways I'm just going to throw together about a months worth of stuff into one post, so if this post seems kind of messy, crazy, and erratic well then get over it because that's my life! (And I'm using this app for the iPad that's suppose to make blogging easier, but it's not and my pictures are all out of order!)

Here goes!


We're finally able to take them to restaurants and have a good time. I will add though that coasters are not ok for kids to chew on. Clive took a chunk off of his and almost ate it... Lesson learned.


Scarlet had her first real haircut and loved every second of it. She is my daughter!




What have I been up to? Just showing Martha Stewart up, that's what! I put together a shelf (which turned out to be a shoe rack, I should have read the box better), painted a door with chalkboard paint, and then made letters for the kids playroom.


What's Tim been up to? My robot husband has been nerding it up. I'm hoping he'll pick up a few tips and make us billionaires because I have amazing pranks I want to play! But that's for another day.


Recently we took a trip to Ruidoso, just the four of us... while Clive was cutting four teeth at once. That made for an interesting weekend. But overall it was a great trip. Basically it was just nice to leave town for a couple of days and go somewhere that got below 80 degrees in October.Plus Scarlet got to wear her boots, that alone was worth the trip. In the end we bought the tacky, clichè, overpriced, tourist teeshirts as a souvenier from the trip. Worth every penny.



And this is something I fully expect my kids to rant about to their therapist when they get older. We literally couldn't resist.


That's been my life in a nutshell, and frankly I'm losing my patience trying to "type" on this iPad so I'll skip ahead. I'm starting my dream job on Monday. Before I left work I was wanting this job and now I have it. I'll be traveling around to area schools and teaching Sexual Integrity to students. I start Monday and I'm excited, nervous, and beyond grateful! I don't know what else to say about it, life is good!

Monday, October 17, 2011

I make a horrible wife!

I've had a lot of time on my hands lately (something about not having a job) and one day I got to thinking to myself how the hell did Tim wind up asking ME to marry him. I'm not talking about the way we met, but what about me did he decide he couldn't live without. Prior to marriage we lived together, so he knew what he was getting into. Still he chose me. As I was thinking, I began making a list of things that I do wrong and might try to improve upon, which lead me to this:

Reasons I make a horrible wife: a.k.a. Why the hell did my husband marry me?!

I don't cook

I've been with Tim for 7 years, married for almost three and in that time I have cooked three meals. No I'm not exaggerating. I once tried to cook tacos, total nightmare by the way, and he ate one out of pity. We threw the rest away, it wasn't even edible for the dog (ok we don't have a dog, never have, but you get the point). For the other two meals I cooked Italian chicken and pasta, it's a super simple crockpot meal. The first time I screwed it up, I over cooked the chicken and didn't make enough sauce. The second time it was perfect, but I should mention that Tim was supervising it.

I hog the TV

I love television, like truly LOVE it! I try and watch every new show that comes out, and 9 times out of 10 I'm instantly hooked. I don't have the time to watch them like I use to, so I just DVR them all. Tim on the other hand is very picky about shows he watches, and usually hates the shows I watch. So naturally when our DVR gets full, or we can't watch something he wants to watch because my shows are recording and I refuse we aren't able to change the channel, he gets a little pissed.


I act dumb

Call me lazy (I prefer the word smart) but when I don't want to do something I act dumb. Things like painting a door, hanging a picture, sometimes even uploading things to my blog, I act like i don't know how and I get Tim to do because I know his OCD of doing things efficiently and just his sheer knowledge of things kicks in and he takes over. Plus he'll do it better than me anyways.

I nag
Ok so I don't personally see anything wrong with this, but he gets really irritated when I do it. So I'm guessing that in itself makes it a bad wife trait. That's the only reason it's on the list.

Side note* If you don't give me a reason to nag I won't!

I don't feed my children in the mornings

That's not to say they go without food (I'm not a monster!), but my husband feeds them. He wakes up early, let's me sleep in and feeds them both, EVERYDAY! Even weekends! I once told this to a group of girls and you would have thought I beat a puppy in front of them. Apparently, as the wife I'm suppose to do the majority of the sucky stuff, and I do a lot if it, but I don't wake up early. Therefore to some (myself and Tim not included), that makes me a bad wife. I'm just going to drop this into the 'ways I'm smarter than them' file.

I still have no idea why he picked me, and this list makes it even more confusing for my mind. I would chalk it up to hardware failure in his robot system mind, but the truth is I found an amazing guy and I'm really grateful he chose me!