Thursday, September 29, 2011

Last Day- Part 2

Grief comes in many forms and for many reasons. The past three weeks have been difficult for many involved, but probably most for Anna and Whitney. As most of you know, we have all become very close and when I told them I was leaving they were understandably upset.

Most everyone I was close to in the office was upset, with the exception of my husband who is a robot.
This is his sad face

Anna and Whitney at first were in denial 

Then they became irate and angry, screaming out "You better not go anywhere or else!"
This is never an acceptable answer!

They even tried bargaining for me to stay. 
That's right, she's holding a handful of one dollar bills.Ballin'

When it became clear I was leaving for good they fell into a deep depression
They ate their feelings

Whitney tried to become emo

But at last, I must bid farewell. Although, they refuse to accept it, it is happening. There will be tears, no more laughter, and years of mourning my departure. This is a somber day today, the day the music died. 
Me stealing leaving with my most cherished office items. Yup that's a fake tree and old computer monitor.

Last Day- Part 1

So today is my last day of work. It’s weird writing those words, they feel so surreal even as I type them. I never thought this day would come for some reason, at times I felt like I would die in my office, not of old age but from other stuff like going crazy, being busy beyond belief, or being bored beyond belief. Anyways it’s here now, my last day, and I’m sure a lot of people are asking “Jamie what’s next?” well truth is I have no idea (No I will not be running for President. Quit asking me!). For the first time in 8 years I have no plan, no idea what’s coming next, no idea what I will be called to ultimately do. I’m leaving because I feel called to help children, and that’s all I know. I’m stepping out in faith, and I’m terrified.

The hardest part about leaving will definitely be leaving my friends behind (I’m not going to miss working with my husband because he and I don’t really talk at work and I see him every night.  But Tim don’t get offended, just don’t ok.). Leaving the wonderful girls I work with is hard to even imagine, but I’m doing it. So as a small farewell I’m blogging about a lot of things in two parts. This is part one, as said by the title (don’t make me do ALL the work for you!).  

First and foremost is something most my readers won't get, so it's totally ok to stop reading. I mean it really is, it probably won't make sense. I'll miss: 

Getting rejected by Gladis multiple times a day

Eating lunch in Britt’s office

Playing office pranks on each other

Filing. No seriously, I will.

Getting coffee in the mornings and kicking all the guys out of the kitchen

Carrying up a billion groceries and always finding something to laugh about on the way up.

Urban Dictionary

Talking about the Bloggess

Almost denting my bosses truck and having to have Tim come and save me because Anna and I can't park to save our lives. 

Thug Anna

Worrying about getting stuck in the elevator.

My twin in inappropriateness 

Awkward birthday parties

Hacking into each others facebooks and changing the profile picture

Eating lunch together almost every single day

Twilight (stop judging us!!!)

Getting lost in the Odessa ghetto because Map Quest is trying to kill us.

Getting lost in the Midland ghetto because Map Quest didn’t kill us the first time.

Spending "special time" with Whitney

Getting knocked up at the same time (not literally at the same time, but you know what I mean)

Weeknight late movies and being exhausted the next day. 

And I'm sure that there's about a billion other things I'll miss, but most of all it comes down to the fact that I've never had a job like this. I truly love all the girls I work with and for years have been blessed to come in and work at a place like this. 

So here's to the next step, what ever that may be. I can only pray I will be half as blessed by my new job as I have been by this one. 

Monday, September 26, 2011

Happy Birthday Mom, sorry I got arrested.

Before you freak out, no I didn’t get arrested this weekend, I’m talking about the infamous time when I was 17 and got arrested. Yesterday marked the 7th year anniversary of my arrest and short lived incarceration.

It all started after my mom’s birthday party, which by the way was big! We had family, friends, people I didn’t even know, all at our house. My mom and dad let my cousin and I leave for the night to meet up with some friends, while the adults continued to hang out. We first went to a party, and no not an innocent party, one with drugs and alcohol. We didn’t feel comfortable, so we quickly left and went to this guys house who I had been on a date with once who was having a bunch of our mutual friends over to watch a boxing match (you know him as Tim, aka my husband). I had only been to his house once before and he had drove me there, so naturally I had no idea where I was going or where his house was. I found the street he lived on but I couldn’t find the house, so I called him and asked him to come out and wave me down. I made a u-turn, saw him standing on his porch, and then saw red and blue lights in my rearview mirror.  Like a good citizen I quickly pulled over and complied with the officer when he asked for my license and registration. I was pretty embarrassed that I had been pulled over and all my friends were watching from the porch three doors down (along with some nosey neighbors who had come outside), but the icing on the cake was when the officer had me exit the car and handcuffed me. Why you may ask? Well did you know that when you don’t pay a ticked within 14 days they put a warrant out for your arrest? 17 year old me found that out the hard way when I was 16 days late on paying a ticket for failure to make a complete stop at a stop sign.  I was put in the back of the cop car and hauled away to county jail, while my cousin was left on the side of the road with my car and my cell phone calling my mom to tell her what happened.

So  I arrived at the county jail, completely traumatized and bawling and pleading with the officer to let me go. I kept telling him I was an A-B student, I got good grades so that should be enough to let me go home. But it wasn’t. I was lined up against a wall, next to a gross looking lady who smelled and looked like a crack whore. We began to get processed, and that’s when I discovered I had been mistaken for the crack whore who I had been standing next to. I tried to tell them they had me mixed up with someone else, but my pleading fell on deaf ears and the warden just gave me a lecture about hanging out with people who did crack. My clothes were taken, I was told to bend over and cough, the whole nine yards!!! I was destroyed at this point. But the embarrassment didn’t stop there. I was then put in a holding cell with about five others, including the crack whore who asked me if I knew her daughter and soon fell asleep using the toilet paper as a pillow. I spent four of the longest hours of my life in that cell, praying and pleading with God for SOMEONE, ANYONE to come and rescue me. Soon my name was called and the officer told me I was leaving, my parents were here to bail me out.

I left jail that night vowing never to return and I’m proud to say I never have. Three days later Tim and I started officially dating, and his parents never held it against me that I was arrested in front of their house (thanks guys!). If it weren’t for that night, for my mom’s birthday, I truly believe Tim and I would have never started dating and I would never have the life and the beautiful children I have today. I thank God every day that he works in mysterious ways and he’s pushed me to the place I am today.

So happy birthday Mom, even though it was yesterday. That may not have been your proudest moment of me, but I’m still thankful it happened. And I promise it won’t ever happen again! 

PS- If you ever wonder where I get it from view the picture below: 

This is my baby sister. Tim found her in our playroom reading a book after dinner. My entire family had left and forgot about her and had to turn around and pick her up again. 

Monday, September 19, 2011

And then we almost burned down our freakin house!

It was an interesting weekend moment at our house this weekend. It all started when my dad came over Friday night and burned important papers in our grill (they’re burned now thieves, so don’t go trying to look through it). Tim decided the next day that he was going to cook out, but after checking the grill he discovered that there was still a small fire going underneath the ashes. So he came inside, started the oven and gave Clive a bath. I went into the babies nursery to hang out with them and help get Clive dressed. That’s when I noticed a HUGE fire outside of their nursery window! I screamed "Fire!" to Tim, who quickly handed me a naked Clive and ran outside. I ran  to the living room and sat down naked Clive and ran outside with Tim who was screaming “where the hell is the water hose?”. That’s when I remembered the water hose had been moved into the front yard to water the one of the trees out front. Luckily we had another water hose in the backyard, but it was not hooked up. So Tim had to hook up the water hose (which was right next to the fire) and the flames were at this point about 5 feet tall. He then turned it on and put out the fire.  We sat there stunned and didn't really say anything until Tim looked at me and said “What the hell Jamie, where’s the water hose? We could have burned down the house!” And then I was all like “Really? You’re pissed at ME because YOU started a fire and couldn't put it out?” He dropped that subject pretty quick.

Anyways, I walked over to what I thought was a pile of ashes and stared at it, only to learn that it wasn't just a pile of ashes it was our completely melted 42 gallon black trash can as seen here in its former glory: 

And here it is after we were done with it:

 Oops! My bad! 

As far as we can tell a small spark probably jumped out of the ashes and into the trash can, which was 
sitting near the grill because Tim was going to use it to scoop the ashes into. And that’s how we almost burned down our freakin house!

PS- On a happy note, naked Clive didn't pee on the floor, he just spit up and rolled around in it. I don’t know which one is worse, but I’ll take it.

PPS- I know I didn't mention Scarlet but here's an adorable picture of her with Clive. There, now I'm no longer a bad parent... for the moment anyways.  

Clive was pushing Scarlet around in the walker 

Monday, September 12, 2011

Public Service Announcements: Rules you think people should know but they don’t and your all like “wow your momma failed you”

I have come to the realization that some people do not know etiquette/ proper behavior when it comes to certain situations. Thankfully for everyone I’m around.

  • After swimming in a lake (especially one that contains gasoline and fish poop) please wash your hair. Dry shampoo is not an acceptable substitute.
  • Please do not talk about the menstrual cycle of your dog at the dinner table.
  • The birth story of you new litter of kittens and how you witnessed the “miracle of their birth” should also not be discussed at dinner.
  • When hosting a dinner party for several friends do NOT ask your guests who are coming to bring the main dish while you, the host, provide the drinks.
  • The word “Shortly” implies two hours, not two weeks.
  • Please don’t go around and tell people your babies poop smells like Doritos. It ruins them for the rest of us.
  • Do not spoil the ending of a television show that people are in the middle of watching. That goes for movies too.
  • When you just meet someone don’t let one of the first things that comes out of your mouth be “I have this new credit card and it has a ten thousand dollar limit. How big is your limit?”
  • Do not go to a strangers house and tell them “I would love to help you decorate. Oh you don’t have a big budget? Well I have a credit card.” Also, don’t tell that same person that you would prefer their television mounted above their fireplace.
 I’m sure I could write a whole lot more, but I’ll end up being irritated at the world. Instead I’m going to leave you with an adorable picture that makes me smile.

My beautiful  baby girl 

Clive insisted on having his cousin Kaleb hold him and he gave him a kiss. So sweet! 

PS- Do you have anything you wish people would know? Post them in the comments!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

7 months

My sweet babies are 7 months today. It’s been a wild ride, and I honestly am surprised I’ve made it this long seeing as their sole mission in life is to destroy me! We have our good and bad days and then we have our Great days. They’re growing up so fast and every milestone is a bitter sweet moment, because I’m excited for them to grow up and discover, but I’m selfishly not ready for them to stop being my babies. Here are a few milestones we’ve hit so far (it’s nothing too exciting for anyone but Tim and I and being first time parents we’re beyond proud. You, not being their parent, will probably be bored.).

 We painted Scarlet's toenails for the first time

 I'm increasingly breaking up more fights. It's mainly Clive attacking Scarlet though. I think he's jealous because she has hair. 

 Scarlet enjoying her first taste of a Starbucks scone. 

 She pooped shortly after this. I don't know why I included it, it's just a cute picture. 

 We lowered Clive's crib last night and it's like a little jail cell that he loves.

 Thug Clive

 Happy Thug Clive
 They were playing together one morning and it was cute, until he pounced on her too hard and she started screaming bloody murder. 
 We put Scarlet in a shopping cart for the first time and she loved it. Either that or she loved Target almost as much as I do. 

Clive screaming a victory scream because he pulled up on his crib 

 Thug Scarlet. She will shank you. 

They went for a jog with daddy for the first time and loved it. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Ask Jamie

That's right, it's time again to read my parenting advice at This is Mommyhood. Mom's of the world rejoice!

Ask Jamie!

Have a question for me? Send me an email at