I make a horrible wife!

I've had a lot of time on my hands lately (something about not having a job) and one day I got to thinking to myself how the hell did Tim wind up asking ME to marry him. I'm not talking about the way we met, but what about me did he decide he couldn't live without. Prior to marriage we lived together, so he knew what he was getting into. Still he chose me. As I was thinking, I began making a list of things that I do wrong and might try to improve upon, which lead me to this:

Reasons I make a horrible wife: a.k.a. Why the hell did my husband marry me?!

I don't cook

I've been with Tim for 7 years, married for almost three and in that time I have cooked three meals. No I'm not exaggerating. I once tried to cook tacos, total nightmare by the way, and he ate one out of pity. We threw the rest away, it wasn't even edible for the dog (ok we don't have a dog, never have, but you get the point). For the other two meals I cooked Italian chicken and pasta, it's a super simple crockpot meal. The first time I screwed it up, I over cooked the chicken and didn't make enough sauce. The second time it was perfect, but I should mention that Tim was supervising it.

I hog the TV

I love television, like truly LOVE it! I try and watch every new show that comes out, and 9 times out of 10 I'm instantly hooked. I don't have the time to watch them like I use to, so I just DVR them all. Tim on the other hand is very picky about shows he watches, and usually hates the shows I watch. So naturally when our DVR gets full, or we can't watch something he wants to watch because my shows are recording and I refuse we aren't able to change the channel, he gets a little pissed.


I act dumb

Call me lazy (I prefer the word smart) but when I don't want to do something I act dumb. Things like painting a door, hanging a picture, sometimes even uploading things to my blog, I act like i don't know how and I get Tim to do because I know his OCD of doing things efficiently and just his sheer knowledge of things kicks in and he takes over. Plus he'll do it better than me anyways.

I nag
Ok so I don't personally see anything wrong with this, but he gets really irritated when I do it. So I'm guessing that in itself makes it a bad wife trait. That's the only reason it's on the list.

Side note* If you don't give me a reason to nag I won't!

I don't feed my children in the mornings

That's not to say they go without food (I'm not a monster!), but my husband feeds them. He wakes up early, let's me sleep in and feeds them both, EVERYDAY! Even weekends! I once told this to a group of girls and you would have thought I beat a puppy in front of them. Apparently, as the wife I'm suppose to do the majority of the sucky stuff, and I do a lot if it, but I don't wake up early. Therefore to some (myself and Tim not included), that makes me a bad wife. I'm just going to drop this into the 'ways I'm smarter than them' file.

I still have no idea why he picked me, and this list makes it even more confusing for my mind. I would chalk it up to hardware failure in his robot system mind, but the truth is I found an amazing guy and I'm really grateful he chose me!