I’m a really awesome person, but I’m not cool anymore. It pains me to type those words even though I’ve secretly known it was true for a while. I went to a bar this weekend for a girls night out. Let me just start off by saying I hardly ever leave the house, much less go to bars. It was a special occasion though, so we started out at the Hemmingway, a nice cigar bar, but they closed early and we weren’t ready to go home so we decided to go to a popular karaoke bar. Not our best idea. It’s the kind of bar where you have to scream to talk to the person across the table and everyone is trying really hard(unsuccessfully) to look sexy and dance seductively. We managed to get a table in the corner and thus began our bar night. The waitress and shot girls didn’t like us because we wouldn’t order drinks (we had to drive home) and people kept staring us down, I think because they hated that we had taken up a table and weren’t drinking. Anyways, here’s a sample of our conversation topics (No we were not drunk, nor had we had a lot to drink). I like lists if you haven’t noticed yet so here’s a list of things we talked about and did.
- 1. In the bathroom staring at the toilet “I have to pee but I think I’ll hold it. I don’t want an STD.”
- 2. Meghan and I proudly showed off pictures of our kids to one another
- 3. How to make homemade baby food, and yes that included recipe trading and the pros in cons of doing it yourself.
- 4. While walking up stairs “Feel that pole, it feels sticky. No one touch it I bet it’s super germy! You’ll get an STD!”
- 5. “Oh crap I missed the toilet and peed on the floor” (once again NOT drinking!)
- 6. Me: “Clive’s little rash has come back, but we have this great ointment and I think it’s going to clear right up again.”
- 7. Me to Ami screaming at the top of my lungs: “Are you kidding me??? The zombie apocalypse is totally going to happen before an alien invasion!”
Overall the night was a lot of fun, despite our lameness.
Best moment of the night: when they played the Cupid Shuffle and we all got up and danced. Most embarrassing moment of the night: after the Cupid Shuffle we had to exit the dance floor because none of us knew how to Dougie.
PS- Apparently there’s a dance that called the Cat Daddy that you do while doing the Dougie. I miss the Electric Slide.
Mirror pictures are still cool right? Oh well we tried!